0 Notes / Reblog

I am not a princess.

Nothing goes over my head. My reflexes are too fast. I will catch it.

Do not call me a thesaurus.

Why would I want to put my finger on his throat?

Oh, I wasn’t listening. I was thinking about something else.

I like this knife. I’m keeping it.

14449 Notes / Reblog

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mercy

0 Notes / Reblog

ungratefullittleshit:

Times Tumblr Raised Serious Questions About “Harry Potter”

334396 Notes / Reblog

tastefullyoffensive:

Some of Ellen’s favorite tweets of the week. [video]

336357 Notes / Reblog

majestic-eyebrows:

That last one took me forever

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gracied120:

vittyyluvscookies:

unsolicited disney

IM LAUGHING SO HARD WOW
notsosmallbob

557086 Notes / Reblog

i-am-lady-larkin:

This speaks to me

i-am-lady-larkin:

This speaks to me

765438 Notes / Reblog

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heros-of-the-bluebox:

sluttyoliveoil:

cough

rough

though

through

why dont these words rhyme

but for some god forsaken reason pony and bologna do

428536 Notes / Reblog

thatsnotwatyourmomsaid:

NEIL YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD 

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the-time-goddess-of-221b:

smoochlock:

so my mum told me that as a kid she would peel an apple and throw the peel over her shoulder, and the peel would take the shape of the first letter of her future spouse. naturally, i decided to do it and

image

i’m fucking crying 

it says ‘no.’

it literally says NO.

oh my god